I stopped playing with toys.BUT!!!

When i was 14 I was still playing with my toys, and at that age I was already in high school and I was one of the only kids that still did that, I was quite embarrased about it and never told anyone.

So one day I decided to stop, i placed all my toys away in boxes and I gave a lot away to kids I knew and I sold many of it at market days at school.

I remember How I used to play with my toys and they would talk to me and I would make them talk to eachother and fight eachother and play out story lines I saw on T.V. I know if anyone would have ahd to walk in on me playing with my toys they could have send me to a mental insitite for being delusional and playing with invisible freinds even some times - voices in my head.

so I stopped playing with toys and stopped talking out loud to myself and I started focussing on the real world stuff such as getting a girlfriend and going to the movies with my friends and to partys and to not play with toys. (not that that was real either at ALL)

BUT, not long after I stopped playing with toys I found out that the new way i chose to go with, was even more mentally ill - I found out my friends, teachers and my parents were all still playing with imaginary friends and they even had special names for them and shit.

They all even agreed on the existance of these imaginary friends and that they all will play with them and one day after death they will meet their imaginary friends, I was scared to be around these people, it was really creepy, i actually missed my toys because I could at least see them.

some nights I would walk in on my friends or family members only to find them on their knees talking to their imaginary friends, calling them names and asking for bycicles and a good life and for forgiveness.

I tried telling them many times that the people they are making up isnt real and that you cant place the faith of earth and the world in your imaginary friends hands and call it hope and faith.

man and i thought I had to be embarrased for playing with toys at the age of 14, if only they all could have seen themselves at their current ages. they never grew up and saw the real world and whats happening.

www.equalmoney.org
www.desteniiprocess.com
www,desteni.co.za

A Click of a mouse button

A Click of a mouse button

A little point that came to me this morning as I was going through all the posts and comments and photos on facebook about people of Desteni supporting each other.

I see now that how really important it is for Destonians to support each other, if it is by doing a simple thing such as liking a post they made (that is relevant though) or by placing a comment and showing the other that they are being affective or not or that they are standing as the group.

All the little simple things that will take only one breathe at a time from each destonian to support his fellow destonian that is standing for life and oneness and equality and to end all abuse. I mean it really is simple and it really is actually fun.

I looked at facebook this morning and at all the Destonians that is supporting each other and how we all are keeping each other here with in support such as liking a post, or commenting or simply giving a presence, if this wasn’t there then how many would have continued doing what they are doing.

This is what came to me while being on facebook, would I have kept doing what I am doing on the internet in spite of all the abuse and all the shit going on and all the support I got from others and so forth.

Would I be able to do exactly what i am now doing with the same manner and not change a thing if everything went in revere for me and that instead of people liking a post they would ignore it and not see, not hear and not give a fuck, and the only comment s that I would get would be to insult me, and then there would be no backup such as other destonians to assist and support.

It might be a small scenario but yet it shows one thing – How powerful a click of a mouse button really is, how much actually goes into each and every click you make and where you are making it count in every breath.

So Imagine a small group of only one hundred destonians and one hundred clicks a second from each and every one of them every time they are on the internet and every single click is counting for equality and ending all abuse, imagine a thousand and then ten thousand.

A click is a powerful thing if it is used correctly in breath for that which Matters and Counts.

I find no effort in doing one click on breath at a time; If I did I would have known there is a problem

Click

Agreement and secret Competition

I have being within an agreement for about 2 years and 9 months plus minus, and throughout that time I have faced myself extensively with in all corners of myself lol, and still after all that time I have these little points of competition that I participate with in towards my Partner, I keep it secret and I keep it safe and I make sure my partner doesn’t know about it because then I will have to face how silly it is and completely useless with no point of relevance really.....

The point that I am competing with in is seeing how many people I can get to follow me on the ‘NetworkedBlogs’ on Facebook and that who gets the most followers and whose writings (blogs) gets the most views. (to achieve what? Is my question what do I secretly want to achieve?)It’s all dishonest and deceptive bullshit.

So every day I go on Facebook and I check my NetworkedBlogs site out and I see how many followers I have and then I will check everyone’s status on how many followers everyone has, but here is the silly point, I am okay with it if anyone else has more followers than me except if it is my partner’s then I react and want to see how far ahead she actually is and in what possible ways I can try and get ahead of her, this keeps me occupied for at least 45min (including rating everyone’s blogs and stuff)

But I see how I actually feel bad once I have surpassed her with in having the most followers and that I now feel like I have left her behind somewhere and all bunch of crap, like I did something to her that she is Yet not aware of, (polarities playing out)

Competition has played a big role with in my life as a way of how our South African culture enjoys themselves through many sports, as I did almost all the types of sport there was in school and how that in itself already gave your life meaning a whole new level of value with in other people’s eyes, as sport was the one thing here that if you could do sport you were really awesome and you were like a mini god. I was always the mini god in doing the most activities rather than being good at only one and being the best at that one.

So with in my agreement I see that I also with in all points just like in school with sport try and win and compete, even though I may not be the best but still I like to have it all behind me as to be able to say, look what I did and how much I did, but never at look what I have achieved. (a pattern)

Competitions is a very slight thing that takes place in the secret mind all the time, you will smile and pretend to be someone you are not in front of people and when it comes down to it you will pull out the big guns that you were building in the basement(mind) to blow their heads of just to have a chance at winning, because if you win it is like being on drugs, everyone loves you and you are suddenly valid and valuable and worth something and you feel like you can move mountains (EGO) and of course you can make your creators proud (mommy and daddy).

I will apply all the SF on this point later when I have the appropriate time and all.

Mr nice and bad guy masks, SF

Mr nice and bad guy masks SF

Being the nice guy is being the bad guy.

I experience with myself that when I am being nice or polite to people I am accepting and allowing them to abuse me and to deceive me with in my own politeness and niceness, because once I have gone nice towards a person with in a conversation I cannot suddenly turn bad as being harsh and mean because I have already given them the permission to speak out their own opinion as if it is right and justifiable through being polite about the point in the beginning, thus i am literally fucking the point up from standing up and saying what makes common sense and to stop the abuse and self deception.

I have experienced this point a couple of times when talking-to people over facebook about religion and believes, I would start off with making a comment on the facebook page and someone would say that who am I to judge their religion or believe and then I would react with in seeing such comment and finding it as an attack and thus I go into being polite to not have to face the point of conflict.

So then I would say I am not judging i am simply revealing the deception and showing all common sense, and then the other person sees that I am being polite they use this as a way to see if they can convert me or get me to understand their ways and their opinions and then after they have replied back I cannot stand and say stop because this will cost the chance that that being has of seeing the Desteni message because of my irresponsible actions that I have taken within the moment of ego and energy.

So I see when I speak with people about something I have to simply breath and not go into nice or man or attacking of fleeing, I have to stand with in absolute with in what I am saying and as principal, I cannot use nice as a way to manipulate the situation because I have and will always be last and be taken advantage of, and I can also not YET become the bad, mean guy because I do this from a starting point of reaction and become possessed with the energies and this is where I lose control and might black out which I find happens.

Breath is at most important and to stay as breath and standing as the principal with in breath and only speaking the principal and living the principal is required and quite dame effective, wonderful I may add lol, I have done this within breath with in tight situations in town a few times and I have to say it is really effective. Oneness and equality and what is best for all, self honesty and common sense.

SF

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to be the nice guy to be liked and to be able to have people manipulated to my will and what I want and need to get done, thus with in this possessed state I am also allowing the polarity to brew and grow within me as frustration and irritation and self hatred and anger because i believe to perceive that what I am getting for what I am giving is unfair, being nice but everyone is mean and dis respectful back to me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear simply to be here and act and direct with in self honesty with in common sense and that which is best for all, not trusting myself as breath

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not trust myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to put on the mask of mister nice guy because of the lack of self trust and relying on hope that the mister nice guy mask will get things done for me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make myself believe that the mister nice guy mask will get things done for me all the time and thus relying on hope instead of simply trusting myself and standing as me here within and as the principal.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live within the mind construct of hope and thus have created a mask that I can wear called mister nice guy that always hope his niceness will get things done for me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to put my trust with in a programmed fake face that I have programmed myself through past experienced where the fake face worked and thus not place my trust with in the hope of that the fake face will work

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rely on memory and what I have experienced within the past as working for me as to using a fake face called mister nice guy face to manipulate the outcome of situations and hope for the best which is totally self deception because hope is a delusion and a self created comfort for the mind to hide behind instead of taking action and making something happen and work through self responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to identify myself and my self value and self trust as the mister nice guy mask that was designed and created from the starting point of lack of self trust and self value as life here one and equal.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to to use the self created mask called mister nice guy to abuse and to manipulate and to hide behind to not have to take self responsibility for this reality and what I have accepted and allowed to exist within this reality through money to have placed me within situations where I have to use such a mask.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself o fear letting go of the mister nice guy bullshitter face

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear who I am without the mister nice guy and mister bad guy faces.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear walking through the fears and insecurities that I have hidden and suppressed behind the mister nice guy mask and which i abuse through the mister bad ass mask.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear thorouging the mister nice guy mask away and allow myself to let others see who I really am without participating with in polarities as energy but as principal here one and equal.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the unknown once I have allowed myself to within moments when the point is here and representing itself to let go of the energy that frightens me and then I place my mister nice guy mask on to hide instead of facing self and taking self responsibility to breath through he point and stand with in and as the system.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not knowing who I am without my personality that protects me as the mister nice guy and mister mean bad guy masks.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that It will take effort to get through these points instead of simply breathing here

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the response of others and their reactions and what their reactions might be towards me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have already created an idea with in my mind of how and who I will be without my mister nice guy and bad guy masks and thus I have already created another personality already to be a back up to hide my fears and insecurities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create back up for in case I cannot stand, with in the in case I have already fallen within me and thus I am not breathing effectively and fearing the future moment and scenarios that might occur.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate with in the mind as if it is valid.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate with in future projection as ideas and self opinionated believe system that is designed and created according to my specific insecurities and fear to make it all sound valid and as if I will not make it and not stand,

I stop this

I allow myself to breath I am here

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the future

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create the fear of the future as a picture with in my mind according o what I want to fear to be able to validate my fear and thus participate with in the physical applications to avoid the fear and thus create it with in my reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wonder off from the point I am working on instead of staying focussed here to the point.

I allow myself to correct myself here one and equal

I breathe in, ....................................out

Arguments with or around people

Arguments with people and being in the same area of people having arguments.

I see that I lock myself out of the conversation because I fear I might look stupid
I also lock myself out of the argument because i fear speaking up
I lock myself out of the conversation because I feel that I might hurt someone or go totally against their opinion
I also Lock myself out of the argument because I feel I cannot rust myself to be self honest with in what I am going to say
I also lock myself out of the argument when I see it is going nowhere and I feel I have the answer for them but I am not willing to share my side with them because they all have now locked themselves totally within their opinions about the subject through logic and reason
I also do not feel like arguing with the beings because I do not feel like walking about where I have just made myself feel less and dishonest
I also did not participate with in the argument because of how I know myself to access energies and run wild with what I am saying going into being possessed that other beings will accept what I say as the right thing, and I will defend my opinion and disapprove of theirs. EGO

All this requires is Breath that will cost you nothing lol

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lock myself out of conversations because I feel les than the conversation that is taking place

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make myself less than the conversation that is taking place

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear conversations

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear facing myself with in conversations

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear creating arguments

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to to fear looking stupid with ina conversation

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear stupidity

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear joining a argument because I believe I am not equipped for
the argument

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I have to be equipped for an argument

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forget about breath with in an argument

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the argument

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compaire myself with the argument

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing with in an argument

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to win an argument

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to play a game with in arguing

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to play games of arguments with in my own delusions of the mind
as real

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be influenced by the mind as knowledge and information within
an argument and not keeping it simple common sense

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare myself with the beings and what they are saying within the argument, measuring if I am able to join or say out

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to access fight or flight with in arguments after comparing myself
with other beings and the argument

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel inferior to other being

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel dishonest with in standing up against another beings
opinion challenging them,

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not clear my starting point with in joining an argument

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire looking smart and intelligent with in an argument, hiding
my actual fear as who I really am with in the argument

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be fearful of arguments

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel I have to decide my words carefully with in an argument, not
speaking unconditionally with in breath as life one and equal

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not breath