Family, money, Desteni and myself

Is it worth losing giving up my family to stand up for equality and all life and to stop all the abuse in this world – YES

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I can lose my family.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself o fear the idea of having no family.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not having my family as a financial save zone.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have only loved my family for their support with money.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make myself believe that I have loved them once. But as the truth is I loved the money they provided for me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel sorry for my family and that they are stuck with each other only because of money –
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel sorry for myself because I am stuck with family as a backup plan for a financial stability point
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish i did not have to rely on family for a financial stability point.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear having no money

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stay within the fear of not having money instead of moving myself to become financially stable as myself within the system.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to move off the point of Family onto the point of money
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to believe that Family is anything more than money lol
to be continued....

money and Self forgiveness

Money and Sf.

Money is that which feeds me, cloth me, bath me, gives me water and that which currently makes it possible to breath in other words to live.

I see with myself and the current situation that I am in with money, the fear of losing all that I have and money, the fear that it can be taken away from me in a second and so fast that if I do not have a back up then I am fucked this life, completely useless with in the current accepted and allowed reality that I live within this world with money.

It works the following way for a human to be able to survive and exist with in the system and have their own little heaven which is money, you have to go to school and have an education behind your name, this will most definitely not be enough as a standard education is simply the foundation to go to a collage and study something that is worth something in the system, in other words something that can make you and others that participate with in capitalism rich and live comfortable, such as lawyers and doctors and researchers and accountants and psychologists and electricians etc.

Then after you have got your degree it still isn’t enough you actually have to get employed with the degree that you have and you have to actually be good at what you do for people to accept you and allow you to make money, this is the simple basic structure and way that normal people have to go through and achieve to be able to be successful or to have a income that allows them to live.

None of the above can be achieved if you do not have money, so if you are within the situation to be able to achieve such educational level then that means your parents have done this before you and their parents before them so that you can be doing this because they all needed money for it all or they worked very hard to get money for you to have an education because they were in a position to be able to get work and work hard for the money so still money is on top of it all.

So now back to me, I find that I have achieved nothing in this life and that at this point I am pretty fucked within the line of education, I keep on trying to find quick and easy ways to do things to make money like playing the lotto or starting my own thing like creating a bug farm to sell the bugs to have a small income, or to breed with something that can make money, I can now say I see why there si such things as zoo’s and animal cruelty and why the shit exists that exist in relation to animal in equality and animal abuse where humans become brutal and mean and sickening towards animals because they all wanted to make money the easy way so why not capture animals and make money off them because it seems so easy, What human does not want to play god with animals, I mean you are giving a human another living being to fuck around with for money if you sell animals and so forth.

So now I am facing myself with in regret and shame and within hopelessness and fear and self pity because I see I have to do things that I do not want to do because it will take time, I have to redo my grade 10 grade 11 and do my grade 12, this requires money which I do not have and no one can really support me with money to do this because everyone is running out of money. The point that is pushing me is the fact that I am useless within the system and with in being able to apply myself practically within the system to do what is required to be done within the best interest for all. I have to gear myself up and equip myself with an education that will allow me to stand with in application in the system, and to be a voice for oneness and equality and an equal money system, to have the papers behind me that says I know what the fuck I am talking about so that others that has education can take me serious and for the law not to be held against me with in the absences of the rights(degrees or diplomas) to do what I am doing such as being a politician.

So I have to re design myself to become a effective being in the system, I have to deliberately equip myself with abilities to take on the current system that exists only as abuse and to stand for life, I need to let go of all the fucking bullshit that the mind is throwing at me such as worries and concerns and fears that neutralizes me if I participate with in it, instead I am writing this out and clearing myself to stand and take direction, not as an energy but as breath, I see I have to careful here for not going into energy because then the application will run in polarities, instead of breathing here relax and breath and apply.

Sf

I forgive myself for accepting and allo9wing myself to fear what I have to do.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear doing my grades over with in the starting point of what is best for all and to become as effective as I can within the system

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear taking the time to apply myself to become as effective as I can within the system through re doing my high school year.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to only consider myself with in what I have to do thus I have fe3ar and concerns and worries

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear having to do what is needed with in what is best for all as my personality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to analyze my personality and to see whether my personality is equipped with a special program that can handle what needs to be done in relation to redoing my high school year.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate as the personality and thus as fear and as concerns and as morality

I allow myself to stand as principal and end the personality

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear having no money

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear money and the make believe power I give it according to who I am as a personality

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear standing up from within the current money system as a being with the equipped skills and abilities to take action for life

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear taking self responsibility for what I have accepted and allowed to manifest within the space time that I have here on earth

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear doing my high school years over because I fear that I might be wasting other peoples time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear wasting my own time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear wasting my money

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear wasting my time which is money

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that money is time, which it is in this physical reality, thus I cannot rely on time but only myself as breath.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to waste money through wasting my own time through not taking direction and self responsibility for what needs to be done and thus postpone and time loop and thus a compound effect takes place where I am at the current moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deliberately postpone and time loop myself through giving into my fears and concerns and believes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear money and the grip it has physically on me with in reality and the current system

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make money a problem instead of finding a solution and ending the money problem for the sake of all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rely on other to have money for me to use and to spend and for me to do things with instead of taking self responsibility while I can for the money situation with in my life so I can be effective with in what I do and thus do it to the best of my abilities for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear letting everyone down on earth that relies on me to bring forth a change even though they are not aware of us as destonians and what we do

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame money

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame money for the things man does with it

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame myself for what I have accepted and allowed to exist within this reality as enslavement to our own creation as money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stand as enslavement to money instead of standing up from within and as enslavement from money to equal money for all to free us from money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give upon myself through the thoughts and ideas I have created within money and how powerless I am with in the current money system and making money that will be sufficient with in supporting myself as Desteni.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be all negative about doing something that will take effort and time to become effective within the system of money and to do what is best for all.

I stop this fucking polarity within me and stand as principal and not mother fucking personality.

I forgive myself for accpepting and allowing myself to concern myself about what other think

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that what other think is relevant at all lol

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be concerned about if I will get permission to do what needs to be done or not, I give myself permission to do what is best for all as long as I am clear and standing with in the principal of oneness and equality and using common sense and self honesty.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing money

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that all the money I have will be taken from me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that any money I have ever had belonged to me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself o make money my belongings and thus i enslave myself to it and the design of it all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hate the idea of being dependant on other for money

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have the idea of being enslaved to money, thus hating the idea I am empowering the idea and thus I am accepting and allowing the enslavement of money and the abuse we humans cause with it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be self honest about the extent that money exist as within this reality and how we are alive because of money

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blind myself with the idea that I am in control within my life with money, which is absolute self deception as everything that exist within my life is held together by money and if there is no money I will starve and die and so will all the beings such as animals and plant life that I have enslaved to be with me which became dependant on the money as I have as well.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be self honest with myself about the actual current situation we are within this reality in relation to money and what I have accepted and allowed to exist through ignorance and bliss.

I breath here,

I allow myself to become self honest with myself and take elf responsibility.

Future SF

Monday, June 22, 2009 (11:19 PM)

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the future and what is to come I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the fututre I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel that I am to weak to handle the future I forgive myselffor accepting and allowing myself to far the future and what I have accpted and allowed to manifests as the future I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the future, creating myself to fear the fuutre I allow myself to take self responsability for the fuutre, here in breath as I walk. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself through fearing the future, keeping me in a emotional state losing the here I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed through and as the fear of the future I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see the future as more than myself I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make sure the future happens as I fear it through feering it I stop Walk in breath I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself through future projections

Arguments with or around people

Arguments with people and being in the same area of people having arguments.

I see that I lock myself out of the conversation because I fear I might look stupid
I also lock myself out of the argument because i fear speaking up
I lock myself out of the conversation because I feel that I might hurt someone or go totally against their opinion
I also Lock myself out of the argument because I feel I cannot rust myself to be self honest with in what I am going to say
I also lock myself out of the argument when I see it is going nowhere and I feel I have the answer for them but I am not willing to share my side with them because they all have now locked themselves totally within their opinions about the subject through logic and reason
I also do not feel like arguing with the beings because I do not feel like walking about where I have just made myself feel less and dishonest
I also did not participate with in the argument because of how I know myself to access energies and run wild with what I am saying going into being possessed that other beings will accept what I say as the right thing, and I will defend my opinion and disapprove of theirs. EGO

All this requires is Breath that will cost you nothing lol

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lock myself out of conversations because I feel les than the conversation that is taking place

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make myself less than the conversation that is taking place

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear conversations

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear facing myself with in conversations

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear creating arguments

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to to fear looking stupid with ina conversation

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear stupidity

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear joining a argument because I believe I am not equipped for
the argument

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I have to be equipped for an argument

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forget about breath with in an argument

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the argument

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compaire myself with the argument

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing with in an argument

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to win an argument

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to play a game with in arguing

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to play games of arguments with in my own delusions of the mind
as real

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be influenced by the mind as knowledge and information within
an argument and not keeping it simple common sense

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare myself with the beings and what they are saying within the argument, measuring if I am able to join or say out

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to access fight or flight with in arguments after comparing myself
with other beings and the argument

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel inferior to other being

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel dishonest with in standing up against another beings
opinion challenging them,

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not clear my starting point with in joining an argument

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire looking smart and intelligent with in an argument, hiding
my actual fear as who I really am with in the argument

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be fearful of arguments

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel I have to decide my words carefully with in an argument, not
speaking unconditionally with in breath as life one and equal

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not breath