Learning to be Original.

So I have noticed a point today after it has been shown to me, being original, so first let us look at what is "not" being original.

On the farm I have my daily things that I have to do such as pumping water, looking after my horse, looking after all the animals in my room and I have the task that i am always busy with, at this moment it is doing the kitchen cupboards in our house.
Now while doing the kitchen cupboards in our house other task come up as well, task that is necessary to be done such as cutting fields for hay and raking the hay up and then loading it and taking it to the storage place for the hay, also a regular normal task is going to the dumps and dumping the trash there, and then also fetching food hay for the horses at some place in town, all of these are regular tasks, and also doing dog food and checking dog water and dog pellets during the day.

Now that I have given all the regular tasks and it seems so much, I can say that it isn’t that much, because after doing all the tasks have been done I still have plenty time to do other things, I usually use that time to do rating and to do internet stuff and checking DIP people’s assignments that they hand in so that they can continue after I have checked it.
So what is being original then? I have already said so much on what I am doing here and still there is time to be original.

Yes because we should not move according to time but as breathe, breath has no limits, time does, look at when you work according to time – you limit yourself to do something for only an hour, then you will take an hour break, then you will give yourself another hour to do something ells, (consider this is after your daily duty/Job has been done and you have free time whenever) but if you do it according to breathe, thins change a lot, you actually do not feel restricted while working and you do not mind finishing stuff that is necessary to finish.

It is when you back chat in your head – I will watch TV or play games or take a nap or do something that is completely useless and not productive now and later tonight I will get to do the video ratings for Desteni and supporters, or it can be something ells, such as I will go out to the movies. Now all of this is not being original.

Being original is doing something that no one tells you to do or forces you to do (such as in the system working for money to survive) or that is really necessary to do with in your world (bubble, life)
Originality is when you can breathe and within the breathe walk see what can be done in a practical way,
My example is here on the farm –I have already now said what I have to do daily or weekly as a must as a job, so because I work according to time I have limited myself to do anything ells, to be original.

Being original here on the farm would be to now go and water plants, to see a pile of random dirt somewhere and move it to another location where it is more suiting, being original is to see the physical reality and what can be done to improve it and to make thing better, such as seeing where things can be done that wasn’t considered as being done before because it wasn’t part of your job.

Being original is to express here in and as the physical reality with what is here to see beyond your limited picture mind and to see what can physically be done here,
For instance, i will do all my daily things and once I have completed all my tasks I will believe tat i am now done for the day and make myself belief that I am tired lol, instead of seeing that I can still go feed the birds, I can dig a trench next to our house for the next raining season for water to flow a specific direction instead of through the house are on concrete. Or I can trim the trees and pick up some waist that people just threw out, or I can go take a walk – simple things yet original.

Get some sun light –
I will from tomorrow on be original, I will walk out of my room and I will see my environment and I will see, will myself to see what can be done here that no one has to tell me to do, but what I can see for myself in and as the physical here, move myself and direct myself to improve my environment for myself and the animals and the bugs and so on

being original is when you see your computer had many wires behind it all scattered around and all messy and you go and take some tape and bind them all together neatly together. And this way no dog or cat can get tangled in it and your feet can not get tangled in it and you do not get all irritated with it, being original is to consider small things yet it makes a difference, back chat will justify why it does not need to be done. Excuses and reasons.
You can save a life with being original, you see on your street that there is a pot hole that no one can see at night, you make a glow in the dark sign and put it up for people to see as a warning, saying black whole ahead, maybe then it will even get fixed because people will notice and complain lol.

Being original is to consider your environment practically and best for all. (to see what you can do with what you have – leila)

Battle star galactic and decisions ranting and raving.

Watching battle star galactic I have had a chance to throughout a couple of seasons and a bunch of episodes see how I experience myself and where I find judgment within the story and what is being done.

The major point for me that I saw was making decisions,

Each decisions that had to be made by bill would in fact influence the whole of humanity and the survival of all of humanity since they are the only people that escaped from caprice and now had the responsibility of surviving as a human race.

And all the people had to trust bill even though they do not know him personally or anything about him, they simply had to follow the orders that he gave and everyone had to apply the orders, there is not time to question each order because it could mean the death of all of the human race from caprice or the survival of them all.

Now what I have noticed with myself was how I would judge each decision that he made or that any other person with in the story had an influence on making or later on the decisions that the president came into also and made.

I found that I would judge the decisions and make better decisions that what they have made or so I make myself believe that my decisions are better lol, I would then tense up while watching how each decision would play out and the consequences of the play outs, now either way if it was a right or wrong decision there are consequences that played out and that all they really could do was deal with it through making more decisions with in a perspective of a solution, no one had the time or luxury of thinking negative or giving up or being all shitty because they could be the end of all human kind.

Now I saw that I had to let go of the judgments I made while watching the story and rather stand with in bill’s shoes or anyone that was making the hard ass decisions and see how they made it and why and see all the purposes and reasons and then I simply must not judge it as bad or good decisions but what works in the moment and that is needed to be done.

I saw that it worked like a casino,

When you go to a casino you take money with you and within the casino you have many choices of machines that you can play on, each choice of machine has a different way of presenting itself and how you can win, but they all work the same through putting in your money and pushing a button, so now it all depends on how much money you have because then you can play more choices of machines that can give you bigger prises if you win or you have to stick to the little machines where you might win little by little, but most of the time you win nothing, but you did gain a boost in hope, you had a boost of energy and that you could have won, but maybe next time, the few people that does win makes you want to win and have the energy they are gaining (money ) and thus you come back next time.

Now this is the other part, this part is the decision part, when you go into a casino to play the game to win or lose you constantly need to make a decision that how much are you willing to bet, because the more you bet the more you can win, but you can then also lose a shit load more, but if you win you are home free, or are you going to play for only a bit, and with a lot of hope, I mean in a casino if you lose money it is gone and you are fucked and if you win, well it goes the other way.

So now you have a crew (family) and you have to make the decisions, the hard ones and you have to really take the risk because it is all on you no matter which way it goes, if you make a decision to play all your money and you win (this is where bill had to go against everything the crew said or the president and make a military call that seemed so wrong), the Family will love you and cheer you and be there for you, but if you lose the family will hate you and resent you and be really pissed at you, but still it is one decision that goes both ways.

I see Battle star Galactica as a casino – with in every decision they make on the story they can either win or lose and they have to make many big bets and many small ones to get the big ones. And so i see that within each decision it will be best to be self honest and use common sense and apply 1 + 1 = 2. To not judge at all as what is right or wrong but what the fuck works, it is time to let go of the morality

The current system is a casino and we all are playing it daily, either you wake up luck or not, you can be killed by a bus passing the street or die of old age, who knows unless you become certainty and stop the casino game, battle star galactic shows how the casino game is played with in the politics and the military and the civilians and all the bullshit on a smaller scale. Instead of keeping it simple.

Simple would have been to make a decision to firstly unite all the people as one thing between all the ships, not having separate governments and shit, to care for each other and to in spite of everything be unconditional towards each other and fucking change, I mean they all live on ships in space with limited stuff and still they disregard each other and prefer to play games.

Stop hating the fucking cylons (machines and the system that is created in the humans own image and likeness as enslavement) and stand one and equal as them and change from there on, I mean even after the cylons try to live together the humans still rebel instead of learning the lessons.

Well I will end here; this was a cool rant and rave for me,

Family, money, Desteni and myself

Is it worth losing giving up my family to stand up for equality and all life and to stop all the abuse in this world – YES

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I can lose my family.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself o fear the idea of having no family.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not having my family as a financial save zone.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have only loved my family for their support with money.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make myself believe that I have loved them once. But as the truth is I loved the money they provided for me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel sorry for my family and that they are stuck with each other only because of money –
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel sorry for myself because I am stuck with family as a backup plan for a financial stability point
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish i did not have to rely on family for a financial stability point.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear having no money

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stay within the fear of not having money instead of moving myself to become financially stable as myself within the system.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to move off the point of Family onto the point of money
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to believe that Family is anything more than money lol
to be continued....

Future SF

Monday, June 22, 2009 (11:19 PM)

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the future and what is to come I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the fututre I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel that I am to weak to handle the future I forgive myselffor accepting and allowing myself to far the future and what I have accpted and allowed to manifests as the future I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the future, creating myself to fear the fuutre I allow myself to take self responsability for the fuutre, here in breath as I walk. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself through fearing the future, keeping me in a emotional state losing the here I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed through and as the fear of the future I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see the future as more than myself I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make sure the future happens as I fear it through feering it I stop Walk in breath I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself through future projections

Rushing self, Not breathing

Rushing myself for others, because of the believe that I have to prove myself and show that I can do this immediately.
Instead stop, breath, move self here as the physical in breath in common sense which is best for all.
Also with in rushing myself I have found that I fuck up a lot according to what I see as fucking up, and immediately judge myself.
Instead breath stop, learn the lesson and do not take anything for granted, stop judgement, move self, forgive self unconditionally
The only solution is breath


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rush myself for others, indicating self dishonesty participating in
the mind instead of here breathe

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to move myself for others according to the believe of I have to

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I have to rush myself

I allow myself to slow down for myself, till I can completely trust myself in the physical as breath, not rushing and in that take things for granted and ‘fuck up’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel I have to rush myself to prove myself to others
What is there to prove? The point of look at me I can do this immediately, and the right way. Fear of mistakes

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rush myself with in the fear of making a mistake, believing if I do it fast I will keep it simple and practical.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rush myself with in the starting point of fear, nervousness, anxiety, and stress

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to move myself according to the emotion, feeling, and thoughts I am having.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take things for granted

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be gentle with myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear fucking up

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the point of fucking up, instead of seeing it as unconditional support and assistance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have defined certain things in my life as fucking up

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from all the points that I fear fucking up within,
never taking these points into confederation unconditionally.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rush myself believing with in rushing myself I will void all the points’ witch I fear fucking up with in

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create polarity within the point of making mistakes or fucking up, seeing other things I do as right and as not fucking up, living in the save zone, creating an unsaved zone lol

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as polarity, rushing and slowing, instead of just breath here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to move myself separate from all other things, wich is rushing

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rush myself with in comparison to other things and beings

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rush myself with in the starting point of comparing myself to
others

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rush myself with in wanting to prove to myself that I am better
than another being

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rush myself with in fear of being less than another being

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live within separation of another being, fearing the being and
feeling I have to prove myself to that person, which I than access rushing through nervousness, and making a
mistake is inevitable.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear slowing down for me, because I fear not trusting myself
with in slowing down, as getting things done

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear slowing down

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that trust is within moving fast or slowing down, instead
realizing self as trust with in all that is here in breath

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have created an idea about slowing down, seeing slowing
down as not being able to get to all the things that needs to get done

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from time and all that needs to get done, wit in
this I have already lost

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see it as losing when not being able to get all tasks done in
time.

I stop, BREATH

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to realize self here in breath through rushing self, rushing self will
only leave self in judgement, not taking all into consideration.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take things for granted

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to move as the mind, quantum time, which will only resemble in
self dishonesty as life

I stop

I allow myself to slow down for myself

I allow myself to not take things for granted

Breath