Arguments with or around people

Arguments with people and being in the same area of people having arguments.

I see that I lock myself out of the conversation because I fear I might look stupid
I also lock myself out of the argument because i fear speaking up
I lock myself out of the conversation because I feel that I might hurt someone or go totally against their opinion
I also Lock myself out of the argument because I feel I cannot rust myself to be self honest with in what I am going to say
I also lock myself out of the argument when I see it is going nowhere and I feel I have the answer for them but I am not willing to share my side with them because they all have now locked themselves totally within their opinions about the subject through logic and reason
I also do not feel like arguing with the beings because I do not feel like walking about where I have just made myself feel less and dishonest
I also did not participate with in the argument because of how I know myself to access energies and run wild with what I am saying going into being possessed that other beings will accept what I say as the right thing, and I will defend my opinion and disapprove of theirs. EGO

All this requires is Breath that will cost you nothing lol

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lock myself out of conversations because I feel les than the conversation that is taking place

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make myself less than the conversation that is taking place

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear conversations

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear facing myself with in conversations

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear creating arguments

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to to fear looking stupid with ina conversation

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear stupidity

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear joining a argument because I believe I am not equipped for
the argument

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I have to be equipped for an argument

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forget about breath with in an argument

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the argument

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compaire myself with the argument

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing with in an argument

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to win an argument

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to play a game with in arguing

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to play games of arguments with in my own delusions of the mind
as real

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be influenced by the mind as knowledge and information within
an argument and not keeping it simple common sense

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare myself with the beings and what they are saying within the argument, measuring if I am able to join or say out

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to access fight or flight with in arguments after comparing myself
with other beings and the argument

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel inferior to other being

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel dishonest with in standing up against another beings
opinion challenging them,

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not clear my starting point with in joining an argument

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire looking smart and intelligent with in an argument, hiding
my actual fear as who I really am with in the argument

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be fearful of arguments

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel I have to decide my words carefully with in an argument, not
speaking unconditionally with in breath as life one and equal

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not breath

Rushing self, Not breathing

Rushing myself for others, because of the believe that I have to prove myself and show that I can do this immediately.
Instead stop, breath, move self here as the physical in breath in common sense which is best for all.
Also with in rushing myself I have found that I fuck up a lot according to what I see as fucking up, and immediately judge myself.
Instead breath stop, learn the lesson and do not take anything for granted, stop judgement, move self, forgive self unconditionally
The only solution is breath


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rush myself for others, indicating self dishonesty participating in
the mind instead of here breathe

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to move myself for others according to the believe of I have to

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I have to rush myself

I allow myself to slow down for myself, till I can completely trust myself in the physical as breath, not rushing and in that take things for granted and ‘fuck up’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel I have to rush myself to prove myself to others
What is there to prove? The point of look at me I can do this immediately, and the right way. Fear of mistakes

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rush myself with in the fear of making a mistake, believing if I do it fast I will keep it simple and practical.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rush myself with in the starting point of fear, nervousness, anxiety, and stress

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to move myself according to the emotion, feeling, and thoughts I am having.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take things for granted

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be gentle with myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear fucking up

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the point of fucking up, instead of seeing it as unconditional support and assistance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have defined certain things in my life as fucking up

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from all the points that I fear fucking up within,
never taking these points into confederation unconditionally.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rush myself believing with in rushing myself I will void all the points’ witch I fear fucking up with in

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create polarity within the point of making mistakes or fucking up, seeing other things I do as right and as not fucking up, living in the save zone, creating an unsaved zone lol

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as polarity, rushing and slowing, instead of just breath here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to move myself separate from all other things, wich is rushing

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rush myself with in comparison to other things and beings

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rush myself with in the starting point of comparing myself to
others

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rush myself with in wanting to prove to myself that I am better
than another being

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rush myself with in fear of being less than another being

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live within separation of another being, fearing the being and
feeling I have to prove myself to that person, which I than access rushing through nervousness, and making a
mistake is inevitable.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear slowing down for me, because I fear not trusting myself
with in slowing down, as getting things done

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear slowing down

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that trust is within moving fast or slowing down, instead
realizing self as trust with in all that is here in breath

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have created an idea about slowing down, seeing slowing
down as not being able to get to all the things that needs to get done

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from time and all that needs to get done, wit in
this I have already lost

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see it as losing when not being able to get all tasks done in
time.

I stop, BREATH

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to realize self here in breath through rushing self, rushing self will
only leave self in judgement, not taking all into consideration.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take things for granted

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to move as the mind, quantum time, which will only resemble in
self dishonesty as life

I stop

I allow myself to slow down for myself

I allow myself to not take things for granted

Breath

Instant decision

Instant decision

Thursday night was my dishes night. I was doing dishes with a companion
As my companion asks me so what do you want to do? I replied well what do you feel like doing, and she replies back, I asked first? I stood there with a decision to make I said well I will wash if you do not feel like it?!?!?! Waa what the hell I couldn’t decide.

This was a simple question, and a simple decision I had to make. Not even a big one, I realized with in this, how am I able to decide what to do in the main stuff in this world if I cannot even make a simple decision about washing or drying dishes.

My companion turned and looked at me and said, Gian I have seen now a couple of times you make a decision based on a believe of what you think the other person doesn’t feel like doing. I saw this point clearly.

She told me then, look inside of yourself, and see what you prefer to do, not what you feel like doing, and then decide. She explained to me stand here in breath and see yourself doing dishes, and then see yourself drying the dishes.

I did this, it took me one breath and I told her, okay I want to do drying the dishes, and she said okay.
This felt wrong to me.

I told her that doing this feels wrong to me making a decision for myself.
I then told her that I saw this point and its really cool, I have never considered this and believed it to be wrong, I always make decisions for other people and what they would like doing, I would always take the crappy things to do, not what I prefer to do. I told her I always kind of saw myself as sacrificing myself for others, believing I am doing the right thing.

This was really a cool point in such a simple thing; I see this has to change.

SO Saturday came and we all on the farm went to the mall for shopping day, we have a shopping day each month on pay day, a few of us wanted to go to a different mall, where a specific movie was showing, and other went to the regular mall,

As we ( the few that wanted to go to a different mall) got dropped off at the mall we were all kind of ‘excited’ for the movie, we all went inside and talked about what we are going to do, first we wanted to check the time of the movie when it starts, and then we wanted to go and eat and drink some coffee.
So we went to the movies as we looked at the movies we saw it was closed up permanently, we all went what the fuck, OH NO! I stood there , breathed and looked inside myself I kind of felt like time travelling, into time, and I saw what was going to be the day at the mall, we were all going to be very grumpy and board just walking around for hours as we wait for time to go by till we got picked up. I stopped, I directed the situation very quickly, I told the person closest to me call the driver, let’s go to the other mall, as she calls the driver. The driver says okay I will come back and pick you up, the driver wasn’t very far away, and we waited like 1min outside till she showed up.

I appreciated myself allot for this. In that moment when I looked at the whole day in one breath and all the consequences and effects that could take place. I could have been quiet and let someone ells decide what to do, because of the thing I have about sacrificing myself for others through letting them make the decisions, and not considering myself, as to what I would prefer for myself to experience.

I am now going to do this every time in all the small things I do. When it is necessary, till I can trust myself with this.
I also saw the point that it is in the small things that the big things will be decided. Through your own physical participation.