Notice me SF (Self Forgiveness)

Notice me SF (Self Forgiveness)

A Video will be up soon where I discuss what I am doing SF on here... 

If dog water has to be filled so the animals can have water because they are enslaved to our money system and thus dependent on us completely, there should not be any motivation to do it but pure self moment and self honesty, it must be something you do because you can see the common sense, any secret agenda to be noticed is in fact compromising you and putting the life of the dogs in danger and thus you are a danger, because if you are not motivated what then? Are you going to leave the water bowl empty and let them die!! Just because no one notices you and gives you credit.. That is ridiculous and why the world is fucked up currently because people are actually doing it. And this is how we were taught from toddlers.. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want, need and desire to be noticed when I do something.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to be noticed for things I do.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to be noticed for things I do.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to need to be noticed for when I do something.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel good when I am noticed for doing something and thus making being noticed my only motivation to do something.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel bad and not appreciated for when I feel i am not being noticed for doing something and thus in return for not being noticed I stop doing what I was doing and go into a depression of self judgment and resentment. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into a depression when I am not being noticed for what I am doing in an attempt to manipulate others to see me and notice me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use depression to manipulate others to notice me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I have to be noticed for what I am doing to feel good about myself, instead of simply appreciating myself for allowing myself to express myself limitless.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I have to be noticed for doing something otherwise it isn’t worth doing. Thus stating that what I was doing was a lie and self deception from the beginning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate with in the self deception that I need to be motivated through being noticed with in what I do to be able to move myself to do something, instead of doing what i am doing because I am an intelligent being that is capable of using common sense and to see what is practical and necessary to be done. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be limited within the want, need and desire to be noticed for what i am doing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to be noticed with in what I do so that others can see what I am doing and see me as more and as special.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to be special in other’s eyes through being noticed with in what I do.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to be noticed for what I do from the starting point of deception and the attempt to manipulate others with in my behavior to feel that I am save and in a environment feel they need me for what I do just so that I do not have to face myself and what is here in reality as me one and equal.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ignorantly participate with in the hope that people will notice me for when i do something that I feel I do not need to do but do it anyway to be seen as the person that Is willing and that care and that is sacrificing his/my time to do something I do not want to.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to do things from the starting point of wanting to look special in other people’s eyes and when i am not noticed I go into a state of rebellion and abuse life around me for not noticing sorry old me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear taking self responsibility for my actions as a self directed principal as to what is best for all and what is practical and best for all life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate with in the polarity construct of being noticed and not being noticed as they support each other and is co dependent on each other and thus create a cycle of enslavement that I will trap myself with in if I do not stop myself and walk as myself to direct myself in each breath with common sense and self honesty.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take part in the deception that I can only move myself if the movement is motivated by the polarity/opposite forces as positive and negative, giving my authority over myself away to these forces of enslavement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to be noticed for what I do in comparison to what others are doing to be more or then them or to feel better about myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate with in competition towards others with in what i do to be noticed to be seen as valuable and not as less than, realizing that it is only me that can see myself as less than and judge myself accordingly.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as being less than or as being more than others through how many times I am being noticed for what I am doing.

I forgive myself or accepting and allowing myself to be motivated to move myself through a positive energy charge when i am being noticed, enslaving myself to the energy as consciousness instead of moving myself here one and equal in and as the physical as that which is real and that what matters. 

Rebirth yourself, forgive yourself.

Instant decision

Instant decision

Thursday night was my dishes night. I was doing dishes with a companion
As my companion asks me so what do you want to do? I replied well what do you feel like doing, and she replies back, I asked first? I stood there with a decision to make I said well I will wash if you do not feel like it?!?!?! Waa what the hell I couldn’t decide.

This was a simple question, and a simple decision I had to make. Not even a big one, I realized with in this, how am I able to decide what to do in the main stuff in this world if I cannot even make a simple decision about washing or drying dishes.

My companion turned and looked at me and said, Gian I have seen now a couple of times you make a decision based on a believe of what you think the other person doesn’t feel like doing. I saw this point clearly.

She told me then, look inside of yourself, and see what you prefer to do, not what you feel like doing, and then decide. She explained to me stand here in breath and see yourself doing dishes, and then see yourself drying the dishes.

I did this, it took me one breath and I told her, okay I want to do drying the dishes, and she said okay.
This felt wrong to me.

I told her that doing this feels wrong to me making a decision for myself.
I then told her that I saw this point and its really cool, I have never considered this and believed it to be wrong, I always make decisions for other people and what they would like doing, I would always take the crappy things to do, not what I prefer to do. I told her I always kind of saw myself as sacrificing myself for others, believing I am doing the right thing.

This was really a cool point in such a simple thing; I see this has to change.

SO Saturday came and we all on the farm went to the mall for shopping day, we have a shopping day each month on pay day, a few of us wanted to go to a different mall, where a specific movie was showing, and other went to the regular mall,

As we ( the few that wanted to go to a different mall) got dropped off at the mall we were all kind of ‘excited’ for the movie, we all went inside and talked about what we are going to do, first we wanted to check the time of the movie when it starts, and then we wanted to go and eat and drink some coffee.
So we went to the movies as we looked at the movies we saw it was closed up permanently, we all went what the fuck, OH NO! I stood there , breathed and looked inside myself I kind of felt like time travelling, into time, and I saw what was going to be the day at the mall, we were all going to be very grumpy and board just walking around for hours as we wait for time to go by till we got picked up. I stopped, I directed the situation very quickly, I told the person closest to me call the driver, let’s go to the other mall, as she calls the driver. The driver says okay I will come back and pick you up, the driver wasn’t very far away, and we waited like 1min outside till she showed up.

I appreciated myself allot for this. In that moment when I looked at the whole day in one breath and all the consequences and effects that could take place. I could have been quiet and let someone ells decide what to do, because of the thing I have about sacrificing myself for others through letting them make the decisions, and not considering myself, as to what I would prefer for myself to experience.

I am now going to do this every time in all the small things I do. When it is necessary, till I can trust myself with this.
I also saw the point that it is in the small things that the big things will be decided. Through your own physical participation.