The ONE

Tuesday, June 23, 2009 (11:03 PM) (I'm Here)

I am at this stage 19, and as far as I can remember all through my life I had this Idea about myself, an idea that I am special, and the one to save someone or even the world. Through this believe I limited myself, I waited for that moment, the special moment when the world will need me and I will rise up and save people. and this played out in my relationships, I always got the girls that were broken, and I became their savior, The one. This is unacceptable. 6 billion people on this earth, each one believing they are the ONE in some way, and this makes them special, EGO=eco. I lived like this, it brought me nowhere and nothing, I left school and became a waiter, waiting to be the One, special I forgive myself. I forgive myself for .accepting and allowing myself to define myself and everything I have experienced so far according to my age I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see my age as special I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attach things to my age I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself through seeing myself as the age I am I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself according to my age I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live according to my age I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept limitation through my age I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am limited according to my age I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use my age as a justification within the actions I take I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see my date of birth as special and meaningful Breath I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself through using the mind in remembering things I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I have to remember things as memories and thoughts to see the past, that is always here in common sense I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself through remembering things, past I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the past, therefore I have to remember things, instead of standing here as the past, no separation Breath I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live according to an idea of myself I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I need to have an idea about myself in order to survive I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I need to survive, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live as an idea about myself, separating me from me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create an idea about myself because I fear the real me and the truth of myself I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide the truth of me from me because I fear the truth, therefore I create an idea about myself to comfort myself. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear living as the real me I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear standing alone for living the real me and not an idea of myself, as I perceive others would prefer me to be I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live according to the idea others want me to be I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live according to the idea of the world, out of fear being different and real I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being different I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that being the real me means different I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear other beings I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to treasure the idea I have about myself, allowing me to live in a way where I can lose something I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself through living according to an idea and tiring myself out through carrying this idea around with me every day I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to tire myself out through trying to achieve the idea I have about myself I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live in a projection of myself as an idea I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear just being here in breath, nothing special. Breath I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe it is possible to save someone I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be blinded by my projected purpose I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live for saving someone, not realizing I have to save myself first, purifying self through self forgiveness I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I need saving I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe someone ells needs saving I forgive myself for not realizing that it is imposable to save someone,, and that I can only assist and support other beings I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make it my life purpose to try and save someone I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to save someone to validate my existence I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I can save myself through saving someone ells I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to lay Jesus super star I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to save someone els through self interest I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from other beings therefore I feel the need to save them and become someone special in their eyes I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself through wanting to save someone, not realizing I am actually suppressing what is going on, I forgive myself for not being unconditional towards people and supporting then as me I forgive myself for accepting and allowing limitation through separation Breath I forgive myself I allow myself to stand