Fear of Snakes biting me and self forgiveness.

Fear of Snakes biting me and self forgiveness. 

I work with a lot of animals on the farm, some are snakes, others are lizards (big one’s) and some are our normal daily farm companions such as the dogs or cats and the parrots we have. 

When I work with the animals I have this constant expectation/fear that the animal will suddenly attack me or harm me. 

The Design of Fearing your own Fear - Now on Eqafe for something cool to get perspective on.

Snake venom and  Fear.

With snakes I fear that they will bite me with their venom and I will get sick and basically be poisoned, and I never know if it is deadly or just a bite.

Snakes are sneaky and fast when it comes to them attacking you in their self defense of course, it isn’t personal at all (obviously).

So when I catch them I do so with gloves and care to not get bitten, while I hold them they try and get out of my hand and at the same time some of them actually bites the glove. , when this happens I go into fear/anxiety and I start gripping them tighter and tighter so they cannot escape and bite me. 

I do not like to experience myself with snakes this way, I enjoy animals a lot. but with the fear it compromises my communication with them and how I am with them and how they see me. As I have fear towards them they can see it in my behavior and thus I am a danger to them.

Self forgiveness on snakes and venom. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear a snake’s bite.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that to fear a snakes bite has no purpose but for me to be ready in fight or flight mode to harm the snake as soon as I feel threatened. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be in fight or flight mode as fear when working with snakes. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be in fear when working with snakes through accepting and allowing back chat with in me about the snake.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate with in back chat with in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate with in the back chat “ this snake will bite me and then I might die” in my mind and thus accepting and allowing myself to be moved by fear and working with the snake in fear. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the snake’s venom. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying of a snake’s venom.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be moved and directed by the fear that I have created within me of dying of a snakes venom through back chat and thoughts with in my mind. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear dying of a snake’s venom and that I will be seen as weak from dying of a snake’s venom. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear dying from a snakes venom and that I have accepted and allowed the back chat “ I will look weak if I die from a snakes venom” to exist within me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepting and allowing myself to fear snakes because I fear that my ego will get hurt if I die from a snakes venom.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to work with snakes from the starting point of ego and energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to work with snakes from the starting point of ego thus,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fuel the ego every time I catch/caught a snake and handling it and feeling successful at it and thus.

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel powerful and great because I was able to handle a snake while others can't. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel proud when I have successfully worked with a snake without getting bitten, thus creating the fear of getting bitten as that will burst the ego bubble that was created in relation to the starting point of working with snakes. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attache a feeling to catching a snake, instead of simply doing what needs to be done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to to want/need/desire to catch a snake from teh starting point of fueling my ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to work with snakes from the starting point of comparing myself with others and their capabilities and creating it into an ego thing. 

 The secrets of competition - now on Eqafe for more support and assistance on the ego. 

Realizations.

I realize that I have to change my starting point, that the solution is not to stop working with snakes but to stop the starting point as ego as energy. 

I realize that if I work with snakes from the starting point of ego/energy I create polarities to exist within me, as I feel proud and better than and greater than others I create the polarity/opposite that  If I am not able to work with snakes then I am not greater, better than others and this is where the fear comes in, the fear is that If I get bitten by a snake and get poisoned and die that the Idea I created about myself as the snake handler that can handle snakes where others can’t that makes me apparently better is popped/destroyed and then I will be exposed as the fear and being weak.

The design of Polarity - Now on Eqafe for more assistance and support on Polarities. 

Self corrective statements/applications.

When and as I see myself go into fear of a snake biting me, I stop and I breathe and I remain here with in and as the physical as breath and see what is happening with my eyes and not of my mind as that is not real. 

When and as I see myself going to take a snake away, and any form of energy comes up I stop and I breathe, and I allow myself to not participate with in polarities and self sabotage. 

When and as I see myself approaching the situation with in and as my ego I stop and I breathe and bring myself back to earth and I move myself in practicality and consideration instead of a feeling and an idea. 

When I am asked to remove a snake I will go get my gloved and a bucket for protection, because I realized that I am flesh and blood like anybody else and I do not have special abilities that makes me immune to snake venom, and thus I will approach the snake in care and stability in and as breathe, breathing instead of thinking and charging my fear and ego with energy.

How was I able to hear the Desteni message?

How was I able to hear the Desteni message?

Let’s first look into my past a little bit. I am from South Africa, and I grew up as an Afrikaner in a Christian society. I sang Jesus songs and gospels and I prayed with the whole school every day in the mornings and evenings. I had a pretty stable life in terms of money that my parents had. 

My parents always gave me options to be a bit more free, like I did not have to go to church, and I could change my religion if I wanted to, and I could believe in aliens if I wanted to, and I could do what I wanted from that kind of perspective, whereas the rest of my cultural group would obviously always disagree with me and my parents because they only believed in god and Jesus as savior. 

So I kept all the stuff that would seem weird and out of place to myself, and I participated in all kinds of different stuff by myself. I had mentioned a few points in school to friends and they immediately labeled me as being weird, for example I would say that I believe there are aliens.

As I grew up and learned more about spiritualism,the Christian religion, Buddhism, and all kinds of stuff like healing self with Reiki and crystals, working with clearing energy, card reading, chakras, and testing prayer and meditation, I found that nothing worked…ever.

I got tired of it all within myself. I was actually about to give in, meaning, I was about to decide on one point such as Christianity and just stick to it, because It is what my culture subscribes to you if you do not want to be abused and if you want to have a girlfriend and get sex someday. So this became one of my primary options. 

As I have tested for myself during these few years in my life with all these different things, I came to a really simple answer for myself about it all: it does not work.

So I went on with my life as usual, seeing all the suffering in the world and seeing all the daily shit happening, going to school and studying and reading, plus partying, playing around and drinking, and also playing PC games and PS2 games – I would just do this same routine all the time. 

And then as I got older and continued with school, I found a really interesting point within myself: I have to decide what I want to become and do as a job for the rest of my life pretty soon. This point brought up a lot of stuff for me as I looked at all the careers there are in this world, and I realized I do not want to do any of them. 

And looking at the careers that there is and my limited choices, I could see how fucked up our world is because of the type of careers that exist, and that I am actually forced to have to do them until I die. 

At the same time that I faced this point and had to make decisions I went with my parents to an old friend of theirs. We used to visit this old friend every few years but I was young and could not really remember these visits clearly, but it was Bernard and his kids and other people usually. 

Visiting Bernard and them wasn’t about what they were doing; to me it was all about hearing the latest news in what’s happening in their lives, because going to Bernard was always about really completely different things than where I am from, where all is about Christians and god. It was about everything and how everything works and functions, and obviously the portal. 

Now back then I wasn’t hearing Desteni and what was said to be able to apply it. I was simply listening out of my own curiosity.

So as we visited Bernard and them, they talked about many things such as the Dimensions and the heavens, and about equal money, as money is the problem in this world. We also looked at individual people and their processes such as my own. At the visit we all discussed the exact point I was facing: what to do with my future in a world that is fucked up. Coincidence? I think not.

So with everyone there, my parents, Bernard, the Portal, and I, we came to great points on how I can direct my life to become a success and to make the best of it. I decided to leave school and do homeschooling for my last two years in school, and in that time I also work, earned money, and study to become an electrician.

I went back home after this and I started applying myself in this new direction. The reason I wanted to take the path of becoming an electrician was because it is a practical job and it is one of the most important ones, as electricity is that which we cannot live without currently and thus it will be a stable job, meaning there will always be work. 

So I finished my first year doing homeschooling and did not do any money earning work in this year. I basically became lazy and was unable to apply myself with discipline. I started my last year in homeschooling but the shit hit the fan: I got my work three months late as there were issues happening; the government wanted to shut down private schooling and keep all kids in public schools. So I quit and left my last year.

I told my parents I would continue the next year. In the meantime I started working for money; I became a waiter and did this full-time. I paid rent to my parents and still lived with them. I realized with this happening in my life I was not going to make it in the money system and that I may need to consider just doing this forever.

I started drinking and partying more and got myself a girlfriend. I was living the life as they say - I had a home, I had money, I had a car, I had a girlfriend, I had more than basic needs. Why should I then finish high school and study further? I completely forgot everything we discussed at our visit with Bernard and them - all the practical points and really relevant points. 

After a few months I just could not do what I was doing much longer. I knew I had to get out of the situation I am in. It might sound and seem fun, but being in it like that till you die, that can’t be life, that can’t be everything, and the reason we live. 

So one day I got an email from Leslie John, Bernard’s son. He told me that they were getting a farm and that I should come. 

I was excited - this is the change I was looking for in my life. I knew what I was going to, and I knew what Desteni is all about, such as oneness and equality and self-forgiveness, etc. 

I wanted to go to the farm and work there. My intention was not to do the process but only go for six months or so and then come back; as I was going to work there I was going to earn money for my work. 

So I arranged with my parents,and I got to go to the farm and work there. I told my mother I will come back in six months and then finish my high school the next year. 

So I am at the farm. I started working and I started participating, but something unexpectedly happened: as I was working on the farm and living with the group of people on the farm, I eventually ended up in some conversations, and obviously I met people from overseas. 

The people I met from overseas were really cool to talk with. It was different. They talked about stuff I never considered in my daily life, such as ending hunger and starvation, taking self-responsibility for yourself and why, and then the random conversations I ended up in with where Bernard would talk about certain points, and I would end up being amazed about how much sense what he had to say had. 

I got hooked on the conversations and not long afterwards - two or three weeks into them - I made a new decision: I want to stay and apply myself with Desteni, because the common sense that was being discussed was so clear and so real I simply could not deny it. 

I realized that my starting point for being at the farm was purely for money and self-interest. I wasn’t there for the process or participation in the Desteni message, yet what was spoken and discussed and applied by the people there was something that I could not deny - it is happening - Desteni is here and Desteni makes sense. 

I mean, I was struggling with so many emotional things inside of myself, with so many thoughts and stuff for such a long time, and here I suddenly have tools to help me to take self-responsibility for my own shit: self-forgiveness and breathing, being self-honest with myself, using common sense and learning what that is. It was all tools that I could physically apply and practice. No waiting or praying or hoping for something to happen. 

And so hearing the Desteni message was really easy. I first had to let go of my ego; I really had a big one. I felt I was invincible and nothing could touch me. But there I was, on the farm, because I had nothing and got fucked by myself and by not having any self-discipline. That was a real ego burst; pop goes the bubble. So myself-honesty was that I am not as great as I think I am. I needed to ask for help, and Desteni was the real help - actual physical help. 

So I had to get my ego bubble burst, and only then was I able to hear the Desteni message.