How was I
able to hear the Desteni message?
Let’s first
look into my past a little bit. I am from South Africa, and I grew up as an
Afrikaner in a Christian society. I sang Jesus songs and gospels and I prayed
with the whole school every day in the mornings and evenings. I had a pretty
stable life in terms of money that my parents had.
My parents
always gave me options to be a bit more free, like I did not have to go to
church, and I could change my religion if I wanted to, and I could believe in
aliens if I wanted to, and I could do what I wanted from that kind of
perspective, whereas the rest of my cultural group would obviously always
disagree with me and my parents because they only believed in god and Jesus as
savior.
So I kept
all the stuff that would seem weird and out of place to myself, and I participated
in all kinds of different stuff by myself. I had mentioned a few points in
school to friends and they immediately labeled me as being weird, for example I
would say that I believe there are aliens.
As I grew
up and learned more about spiritualism,the Christian religion, Buddhism, and
all kinds of stuff like healing self with Reiki and crystals, working with clearing
energy, card reading, chakras, and testing prayer and meditation, I found that
nothing worked…ever.
I got tired
of it all within myself. I was actually about to give in, meaning, I was about
to decide on one point such as Christianity and just stick to it, because It is
what my culture subscribes to you if you do not want to be abused and if you
want to have a girlfriend and get sex someday. So this became one of my primary
options.
As I have
tested for myself during these few years in my life with all these different
things, I came to a really simple answer for myself about it all: it does not
work.
So I went
on with my life as usual, seeing all the suffering in the world and seeing all
the daily shit happening, going to school and studying and reading, plus
partying, playing around and drinking, and also playing PC games and PS2 games
– I would just do this same routine all the time.
And then as
I got older and continued with school, I found a really interesting point
within myself: I have to decide what I want to become and do as a job for the
rest of my life pretty soon. This point brought up a lot of stuff for me as I
looked at all the careers there are in this world, and I realized I do not want
to do any of them.
And looking
at the careers that there is and my limited choices, I could see how fucked up
our world is because of the type of careers that exist, and that I am actually
forced to have to do them until I die.
At the same
time that I faced this point and had to make decisions I went with my parents
to an old friend of theirs. We used to visit this old friend every few years
but I was young and could not really remember these visits clearly, but it was
Bernard and his kids and other people usually.
Visiting
Bernard and them wasn’t about what they were doing; to me it was all
about hearing the latest news in what’s happening in their lives, because going
to Bernard was always about really completely different things than where I am
from, where all is about Christians and god. It was about everything and how
everything works and functions, and obviously the portal.
Now back
then I wasn’t hearing Desteni and what was said to be able to apply it. I was
simply listening out of my own curiosity.
So as we
visited Bernard and them, they talked about many things such as the Dimensions
and the heavens, and about equal money, as money is the problem in this world.
We also looked at individual people and their processes such as my own. At the
visit we all discussed the exact point I was facing: what to do with my future
in a world that is fucked up. Coincidence? I think not.
So with
everyone there, my parents, Bernard, the Portal, and I, we came to great points
on how I can direct my life to become a success and to make the best of it. I
decided to leave school and do homeschooling for my last two years in school,
and in that time I also work, earned money, and study to become an electrician.
I went back
home after this and I started applying myself in this new direction. The reason
I wanted to take the path of becoming an electrician was because it is a
practical job and it is one of the most important ones, as electricity is that
which we cannot live without currently and thus it will be a stable job,
meaning there will always be work.
So I
finished my first year doing homeschooling and did not do any money earning
work in this year. I basically became lazy and was unable to apply myself with
discipline. I started my last year in homeschooling but the shit hit the fan: I
got my work three months late as there were issues happening; the government
wanted to shut down private schooling and keep all kids in public schools. So I
quit and left my last year.
I told my
parents I would continue the next year. In the meantime I started working for
money; I became a waiter and did this full-time. I paid rent to my parents and
still lived with them. I realized with this happening in my life I was not
going to make it in the money system and that I may need to consider just doing
this forever.
I started
drinking and partying more and got myself a girlfriend. I was living the life
as they say - I had a home, I had money, I had a car, I had a girlfriend, I had
more than basic needs. Why should I then finish high school and study further?
I completely forgot everything we discussed at our visit with Bernard and them
- all the practical points and really relevant points.
After a few
months I just could not do what I was doing much longer. I knew I had to get
out of the situation I am in. It might sound and seem fun, but being in it like
that till you die, that can’t be life, that can’t be everything, and the reason
we live.
So one day
I got an email from Leslie John, Bernard’s son. He told me that they were
getting a farm and that I should come.
I was
excited - this is the change I was looking for in my life. I knew what I was
going to, and I knew what Desteni is all about, such as oneness and equality
and self-forgiveness, etc.
I wanted to
go to the farm and work there. My intention was not to do the process but only
go for six months or so and then come back; as I was going to work there I was
going to earn money for my work.
So I
arranged with my parents,and I got to go to the farm and work there. I told my
mother I will come back in six months and then finish my high school the next
year.
So I am at
the farm. I started working and I started participating, but something unexpectedly
happened: as I was working on the farm and living with the group of people on
the farm, I eventually ended up in some conversations, and obviously I met
people from overseas.
The people
I met from overseas were really cool to talk with. It was different. They
talked about stuff I never considered in my daily life, such as ending hunger
and starvation, taking self-responsibility for yourself and why, and then the
random conversations I ended up in with where Bernard would talk about certain
points, and I would end up being amazed about how much sense what he had to say
had.
I got
hooked on the conversations and not long afterwards - two or three weeks into
them - I made a new decision: I want to stay and apply myself with Desteni,
because the common sense that was being discussed was so clear and so real I
simply could not deny it.
I realized
that my starting point for being at the farm was purely for money and self-interest.
I wasn’t there for the process or participation in the Desteni message, yet
what was spoken and discussed and applied by the people there was something
that I could not deny - it is happening - Desteni is here and Desteni makes
sense.
I mean, I
was struggling with so many emotional things inside of myself, with so many
thoughts and stuff for such a long time, and here I suddenly have tools to help
me to take self-responsibility for my own shit: self-forgiveness and breathing,
being self-honest with myself, using common sense and learning what that is. It
was all tools that I could physically apply and practice. No waiting or praying
or hoping for something to happen.
And so
hearing the Desteni message was really easy. I first had to let go of my ego; I
really had a big one. I felt I was invincible and nothing could touch me. But
there I was, on the farm, because I had nothing and got fucked by myself and by
not having any self-discipline. That was a real ego burst; pop goes the bubble.
So myself-honesty was that I am not as great as I think I am. I needed to ask
for help, and Desteni was the real help - actual physical help.
So I had to
get my ego bubble burst, and only then was I able to hear the Desteni message.
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