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Showing posts with label consciousness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label consciousness. Show all posts

Friday, January 20, 2012

My Near Death Experience and the tunnel.

My Near Death Experience and the tunnel.

When I was eight years old, I went on vacation with my family, we went from Johannesburg to Cape town, on the way to cape town we had plenty of stops and eventually had to sleep over somewhere at a Bed and Breakfast. It is a twelve hour drive and depending on the season it is hot or cold, usually we go when it is hot so the drive feels extra long.

At the Bed and breakfast stop where we stayed over for the night we kept ourselves entertained, me and my brothers were running around and playing touches, it got intense as the energy got more and more and more fun. I ran as fast as I could to not get touched because I did not want to be the monster that if he touches you, you are it and have to touch someone else again to be the monster.

While we were playing this and running around I thought it would be great to run up and down the stairs to get away from my brother to not touch me. As I made it down the stairs I saw I would be cornered and in that moment I had like a energertic experience of anxiousness, I had to get out of this corner. My brother already made it down and touched me, so now I was the Monster.

I ran in excitement up the stairs reaching for his leg to touch him, in a single moment I hit my shin against the sharp edge of the one stair, I thought I was okay but the pain was extensive, I climbed to the top and fell down, I was gone. The next moment I was grasping really hard in one breath, I was lying in my dad’s arms and my brothers was standing around me and my mother was standing in front of me and my dad with a bucket.

I felt ice cold and looked around me as it I was in a different world. I asked my mother what happened in between me hitting my shin and ending up in my dad’s arms on the chair with water over my face.

My mother told me that they found me on the floor a few seconds after I hit my shin and I was stone cold out, I want breathing or moving at all, I was like “dead so to say.

I then realized what I was experiencing the whole time while they were reviving me lol. I told my mom and dad that I was in a tunnel, a very long one, and I was moving faster than speed of light towards this tunnel, I did not have a body or anything, It felt like I only had eye’s that could see. I felt strange after waking up, like who are these people around me and what is this reality I am in, because while I was in this tunnel, NOTHING else existed, I had no memory, I had no thought, I had nothing or any concept of earth and the physical reality, I did not even think of god or angels. It was just me going really fast towards this light, I never made it, just as I was almost in the light my mom chucked water over me and my body shocked me back.

A few minutes after I woke up and told my dad and mom and brothers what I experienced I told them, I wish you did not bring me back, being in that tunnel going to that light and only me existing there was the greatest experience ever.

For that whole vacation I felt like I did not want to be here, because of the experience I had in the tunnel, that experience made everything else seem like no comparison. For years I wondered about the tunnel and the white light and where the fuck did this take place?

I mean it isn’t like I left my body and went into a dark tunnel and was being beamed up or down or sideways to somewhere. It just doesn’t make sense.

I started questioning this experience and what the fuck it means, because as I got older I started learning about the white light and god being light and all.

My mother and dad said that I was on my way to heaven, But I asked myself, if I was on my way to heaven would I not have had a thought about god, or like an expectation that I will now meet god up there or some white light beings.

I was completely empty in that tunnel, god Jesus Buddha etc, no one existed, it was me and my eyes and the tunnel and the light. And I soon started realizing that the only way I could have been revived or brought back is, if I wasn't really dead or gone at all but that my body was simply in shock and everything stopped for a while to re establish itself.

And the tunnel and white light was simply a experience in y mind, it wasn’t real, I created this idea from stories my grandmother told me about god being a ball of light and I created my own idea about how I go to heaven when it ever should happen, and so I experienced my own mind created idea while my body was re adjusting and getting itself together from the shock.

So basically if I did die that night I would not have been going to heaven or to hell I simply would have died and as I said, I had nothing inside of me from earth, no memory, no thought, nothing, so I would not even have taken any of that with me, and thus, if I had to meet god I would not even have known who the fuck he would be.

Because god and the idea of a god is simply a memory, a thought that is kept alive through thinking and participating in the mind. And when you die, the mind and conciseness dies to, it does not go with you, all this spiritual shit dies when you die, nothing remain, So this led to me questioning a lot of things and what the fuck is real, why did I simply not have any idea of earth or anything with me in that tunnel, does that mean I separated myself form life through the mind to such an extent that I would simply have disappeared into my own bubble where I would stay with myself for eternity?

Till I realize myself as life one and equal. Or would I simply be gone, nothing As only the eyes remained. Then I discovered Desteni, and this is where I got my answers though common sense and Self Forgiveness..

I existed as the mind and thus I would have died as the mind as consciousness, and for a brief moment I saw who I was in complete separation of life and all that is here though the mind. That what I lived to thus far back then at the age of 8 wasn’t real. Because who I was in that tunnel as who I have created myself was nothing.

I diminished myself to exist in the mind instead of being here as the physical as all life one and equal.

so re-birthing self in and as the physical as all that is here one and equal, taking self responsibility for self is self change as life.

Desteni is the Solution and gives all the tools for oneself to correct self.